Senators emerge as valiant runners-up behind Blackhawks to sign star college player

Senators emerge as valiant runners-up behind Blackhawks to sign star college player

OTTAWA, ON – Senators GM Pierre Dorion today announced that he is confident college star Will Butcher will give his team a passing thought before inevitably agreeing to the Blackhawks' offer this summer.

After meeting with the University of Denver forward today, Dorion told reporters that his team's impressive playoff run this year helped put the Sens in an enviable position.

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Hockey fan bored enough to try talking to his kids​

Hockey fan bored enough to try talking to his kids​

VANCOUVER, BC – Insisting that he would do it if it helped pass the off-season quicker, local man Jamie Billings has today given in to his wife's pleas that he finally spend some meaningful time bonding with his two young sons.

Exhibiting uncharacteristic bravery, Billings entered the bedroom of his four-year-old son Noah on Tuesday morning and cautiously approached the boy who was busy drawing in crayon.

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Harvey the Hound put down after being hit by car

Harvey the Hound put down after being hit by car

CALGARY, AB – Beloved mascot of the Calgary Flames, Harvey the Hound, was put down overnight after being hit by a car on a busy city road.

Emergency personnel were called to the scene around 11:40pm on Thursday, where the popular mascot was found lying motionless on the asphalt with serious injuries. Shortly after being airlifted to a veterinary clinic, he was administered a fatal dose of pentobarbital and pronounced dead.

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NHL will shorten seasons to fit in annual lockouts

NHL will shorten seasons to fit in annual lockouts

NEW YORK, NY – Starting this year, all NHL seasons will begin with a three month lockout from October to January as part of the league's plan to regulate work stoppages.

Commissioner Gary Bettman spoke at NHL headquarters this morning as he revealed the plan that he hopes will define his legacy.

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After petitioning NHL, Capitals players to take Presidents' Trophy to hometowns

After petitioning NHL, Capitals players to take Presidents' Trophy to hometowns

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Coming off their team's second straight Presidents' Trophy win, Capitals players will begin a summer of celebration by showing off the team's newest hardware in the coming weeks.

Captain Alex Ovechkin took the trophy to a Baltimore Orioles game last week, and is set to leave for his hometown of Moscow, Russia this week to share the occasion with family and friends.

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Fans who agreed on Duchene trade unsure why deal not yet done

Fans who agreed on Duchene trade unsure why deal not yet done

DENVER, CO – The two diehard hockey fans who last week agreed on a trade in principle to send Matt Duchene from Colorado to the New York Islanders have been left wondering what has taken the GMs so long to finalize the deal.

The Avalanche and Islanders fans, Tim Hall and James Tran, hashed out Duchene's trade value over an intense two hour session on a popular hockey forum on Tuesday.

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The Elbow's in-depth look at the Vegas expansion draft

The Elbow's in-depth look at the Vegas expansion draft

With the Vegas Golden Knights' expansion draft – their debutante ball, if you will – fast approaching, The Elbow is taking an in-depth look at who will be lining up this fall for the NHL's 31st team, and why.

You've probably read hundreds of well thought-out think pieces and essays about the machinations of this draft, but look no further. Put your house on these picks. We present to you, the results of the 2017 Vegas Golden Knights expansion draft.

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Local man swears off hockey after "rigged" cup final

Local man swears off hockey after "rigged" cup final

PHILADELPHIA, PA – A local man has today disavowed the entire National Hockey League after witnessing what he described as "a bigger cover-up than Watergate" in Pittsburgh's 2-0 win over Nashville on Sunday night.

Tony Bermini, a 23-year-old Flyers fan, announced in a 1,000 word letter on Facebook that he would be taking his support to another league.

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Local catfish can't wait for children to see his guts spilled out on national TV

Local catfish can't wait for children to see his guts spilled out on national TV

NASHVILLE, TN – Sitting on a dock along the Cumberland River, Norman Lewis has only one thing on his mind ahead of Sunday's game six.

"It'd be a great shame to be wasted on a plate," the 24-year-old catfish told The Elbow. "If I had one wish as I lie here, struggling to breathe, it would be that my carcass is snuck into Bridgestone arena under a sweaty man's jersey, flung 20 metres over peoples' heads and onto the ice."

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Country singer waiting for her big chance to butcher U.S. national anthem

Country singer waiting for her big chance to butcher U.S. national anthem

FRANKLIN, TN – Up-and-coming country singer Taylor Tucker today revealed that she is keenly awaiting her moment to mutilate the Star-Spangled Banner in the Stanley Cup Final.

After watching Martina McBride and Dierks Bentley force words out of their mouths to the tune the anthem before the past two games, she believes she is ready for her opportunity.

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Mayors of Nashville and Pittsburgh make bet; loser to wear Avalanche gear for a week

Mayors of Nashville and Pittsburgh make bet; loser to wear Avalanche gear for a week

PITTSBURGH, PA – As is tradition, the mayors of the two teams competing in the Stanley Cup Final have made a friendly bet regarding the outcome of the series.

Nashville's mayor, Megan Barry, alongside Bill Peduto of Pittsburgh spoke to the media outside PPG Paints Arena this afternoon to announce the terms of the arrangement.

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Erik Karlsson reveals he battled through playoffs with broken heart as well

Erik Karlsson reveals he battled through playoffs with broken heart as well

OTTAWA, ON – Three days after getting eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs, Senators captain Erik Karlsson – who played all post-season with hairline fractures in his foot – revealed that he was also dealing with a broken heart thanks to a breakup with childhood sweetheart, Elsa.

Despite their relationship ending over 23 years ago when they were three years old, Karlsson said the memories are as painful today as they were back then.

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Ron MacLean reveals he is completely deaf in left ear

Ron MacLean reveals he is completely deaf in left ear

TORONTO, ON – Hockey Night in Canada host Ron MacLean revealed today that he has been completely deaf in his left ear for the past 10 years.

The ear – which he refers to as his "Grapes ear" – is the one that has copped most of Cherry's boisterous ramblings for the better part of 27 years. The two switched sides on Coach's Corner a few years ago so MacLean was able to communicate with the 83-year-old.

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Overwhelming support for Predators taking an emotional toll on Penguins

Overwhelming support for Predators taking an emotional toll on Penguins

PITTSBURGH, PA – As Nashville prepares to face off against Pittsburgh in their first Stanley Cup Final in team history next week, they have been the recipients of overwhelming support from neutral fans throughout the league.

So much so, that several Penguins players have admitted that the immense bandwagon support for their opponents – and lack of neutral support for them – has begun to hurt their feelings.

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League suspends Ryan Johansen for not wearing suit to game

League suspends Ryan Johansen for not wearing suit to game

NASHVILLE, TN – Predators forward Ryan Johansen has been suspended for the first ten games of the 2017-18 season after failing to arrive at his team's game six matchup against the Ducks wearing the correct attire.

League rules mandate that all players wear suits to games, regardless of if they're playing that evening or suffering from potentially life-threatening injuries. It's also preferred that they do something nice with their hair, as well.

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Wingels avoids suspension after ghosts of hockey past appear to Quintal

NEW YORK, NY – NHL Director of Player Safety, Stéphane Quintal today revealed that his department has chosen not to suspend Tommy Wingels after what he describes as a visit from the ghosts of hockey past.

The former NHL defenceman said the pair told him that his job was to uphold the rules laid down by the game's founding fathers 100 years ago, not to cave in to the current set of regulations.

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Police arrest Sens fans who planned to start new tradition by throwing senator's corpse onto the ice before game six

Police arrest Sens fans who planned to start new tradition by throwing senator's corpse onto the ice before game six

OTTAWA, ON – Four local men were arrested on Monday for planning to toss a dead senator over the glass and onto the ice before tomorrow's game six against Pittsburgh.

Hoping to start what they believed would be a new tradition for Senators playoff games, the group had dug up the grave of a former senator and dressed it in a team jersey.

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Neutral fan seeks professional help after being caught cheering for Anaheim

Neutral fan seeks professional help after being caught cheering for Anaheim

MONTREAL, QC – A local man today revealed that he has begun intense personality conversion therapy at his family's request, after being caught openly cheering for the Ducks against the Nashville Predators.

The Habs fan said he first noticed symptoms last Friday, but didn't reveal them to his loved ones until yesterday.

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