The Elbow staff
BROOKLYN, NY – In a move that the New York Islanders front office hopes will appeal to local fans in Brooklyn, ice girls will be replaced by hipster baristas to clean the ice for the 2015-16 season.
The baristas will come out onto the ice during TV timeouts – the same time the ice girls have in previous years – and shuffle around in desert boots. Rather than removing as much snow as possible, they'll be given a mandate to remove whatever they feel like.
"In order to endear ourselves to the people of Brooklyn, we feel as if we need to create conditions inside the Barclays Center that reflect the people and places that our fans come in contact with each day," Islanders' director of communications, Paul Wooley said.
"What better exemplifies Brooklyn than lackadaisical hipster baristas?"
Instead of snow shovels, the baristas will be armed with old brooms, and rather than their scantily clad predecessors, they will be required to wear obnoxiously large scarves and Warby Parker spectacles.