Subban gives $10M to hospital in outlandish bid for captaincy

The Elbow staff 

Photo courtesy of  blue skyz studios

Photo courtesy of blue skyz studios

MONTREAL, QC – In a move never seen before, P.K. Subban today announced that he has pledged $10 million to the Montreal Children's Hospital in the hope that he receives the Canadiens' captaincy.

With a decision on who will wear the 'C' coming in the next few weeks, it is a bold push by the star defenceman to convince his general manager and head coach that he is worthy of the honour.

"There's no way they can ignore me now," Subban said at today's press conference. "Good luck to Patches and Gally...I wish them all the best coming up with something better than that."

Upon hearing the news of the impending announcement this morning, forward Max Pacioretty hinted at potentially donating several vital organs to the hospital if it would put him in the box seat for the captaincy. 

"If P.K. wants to play it that way, I'll play," he said as he rolled up his t-shirt. "Let's do it here and now. What do they need? A lung? A kidney? A heart? I've got them all!"

When reached for comment, goaltender Carey Price did not mince words.

"We all know who the real captain is."

At press time, Pacioretty had not yet heard back from the hospital.