The Elbow staff
GLENROCK, WY – Every single person involved with the Glenrock Knights confirmed on Friday that they think goaltender Jimmy Rohan is lying to himself if he thinks he's got any chance at ever playing pro hockey.
The 27-year-old boasts an .865 save percentage and 4.25 goals against average through 20 appearances over four years with the team. He is yet to post a win.
"I don't even know why he bothers turning up anymore," head coach Rob Hockley said. "If I were him, I'd go get a job in a call centre and do something with my life."
According to teammates, Rohan blasts Metallica's 'Enter Sandman' at full volume in his car before every game, even when he's backup, which is more often than not.
"At least he comes in with the right attitude, I guess," teammate Vincent Lottario said. "But I do feel bad when he sits at the end of the bench just staring at coach Hockley all game long."
Rohan's friends say he is always posting pictures of the new equipment he buys each month, often using the hashtags #goalielife and #tendylife.
"He likes to introduce himself to girls at parties by showing them bruises he got at hockey," one of his buddies told The Elbow. "He doesn't mention that almost all of them are from practice."
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