Debilitating superstitions force Sidney Crosby to retire

By Wally Barnes 

Crosby at last summer's Stanley Cup parade. Source

Crosby at last summer's Stanley Cup parade. Source

PITTSBURGH, PA – NHL superstar Sidney Crosby has announced his immediate retirement from hockey after succumbing to several debilitating superstitions.

The 29-year-old's shock decision comes after two decades of dealing with the condition. According to teammates, he has missed the start of every pre-game skate for the past 21 years.

"Fans only get to see Sid the leader, Sid the Stanley cup champion," teammate Chris Kunitz told The Elbow. "What they don't see is the guy who sits there before each game tying and untying his skates 16 times."

"Once he's done that, he shaves four times. I don't know why. I think he scored for his peewee team after doing it, and just never stopped."

Crosby's father Troy said that they tried taking him to see mental health professionals when he was young, but nothing worked. 

"It started with therapy, but [Sid] was so headstrong that he sent the psychologist into therapy," he said. "We got desperate and tried our local priest, thinking an exorcism might help, but it turned out the priest had a devil in him."

Crosby plans on touring around Canada to raise awareness for hockey players suffering from the condition. It is believed that one third of players at all levels has dealt with hockey superstitions at one point.

He leaves the NHL with 983 points, and sits 89th on the all-time scoring leaderboard.  

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