Pittsburgh formally applies to change name to Pengwins

The Elbow staff 

PITTSBURGH, PA – Penguins owners Mario Lemieux and Ron Burkle today announced that they have formally begun the process to change the team's name to the Pittsburgh Pengwins.

Citing their recent Stanley Cup win and a need reinforce the team's desire to remain successful, the two men said a name change is necessary.

"Penguins haven't been feared since the '40s, when the Batman villain was introduced," Lemieux told reporters at PPG Paints Arena. "And even then, how scary is a chubby, umbrella-weiling man who yells unintelligible catch phrases?"

"Rather than completely overhauling the feel of the team and picking a scarier animal to name it after, we decided to keep a name that sounds similar, but shows the rest of the league that we're serious about winning."

Burkle said that the idea was one they had been discussing for many years.

"In the lean seasons leading up to 2005, it seemed a little silly to associate any form of winning with our franchise, but as reigning champions, we now think it's fitting to announce it loud and clear in our name."

At press time, the proposed name was considered by most NHL fans to still make more sense than the Vegas Golden Knights.

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