The Elbow staff
LOS ANGELES, CA – The LA Kings today announced that they have fined a fan $5,000 for failing to bang on the glass during a fight that happened directly in front of him on Saturday night.
The team said it was important to stand by its rules and punish idiotic behaviour before other fans think they can get away with the same thing.
"We can't have other people seeing this type of conduct and thinking it's acceptable," team spokesman Andrew Nixon said today. "The important thing for us was to stamp this out immediately before we have any copycats try it."
The league commended the team for taking decisive action.
According to onlookers who were present at the game, the man sat dumbly with his hands folded in his lap as the fight broke out.
"He just sat there with this stupid smile on his face the whole time," one source said. "Then at the very end he clapped and nodded his head. Who the hell does this guy think he is?"
"I'm a proud Californian, and all this will do is make it easy for Canadians to prove that we know nothing about hockey."
Shortly after the incident, the man was seen with his head in his hands during a TV timeout as people around him shouted insults.
"I'm such an idiot," the moron told reporters after the game. "I came all the way from San Francisco after my boss gave me tickets, and I did nothing other than embarrass my whole company."
The man did, however, manage to have the fine reduced because he remembered to stand up and wave at the TV camera every single time the puck went past him in the third period.