Sharks mascot sick and tired of pretending to eat heads

The Elbow staff 

Image courtesy of San Jose Sharks twitter

Image courtesy of San Jose Sharks twitter

SAN JOSE, CA – S.J. Sharkie, the official mascot of the San Jose Sharks, has admitted that he is fed up with being expected to "eat" heads in every picture he takes with fans.

According to the 25 year veteran, his abilities extend well beyond his signature move.

"It gets pretty tiring being asked to do the same damn thing every time," he told The Elbow. "I have way more depth than what people give me credit for."

"In drama school I was what's referred to as a 'triple threat' – I could sing, dance, and act. Now I'm nothing more than a circus act. I lean forward, open my stupid felt mouth and put a head inside it. Everyone laughs and has a great time."

The mascot – adjudged to be the 'Most Awesome Mascot' in sports by the Cartoon Network in 2012 – says that the team has gone back on a promise they made to him when he was created.

"When I started with the team, I was told that I'd have creative carte blanche when interacting with fans. After being made to do the same thing for so long, my creativity has been killed."

According to the NHL Mascots' Association (NHLMA), union rules state that members should be free to have no less than three signature moves to use at any time.

"We believe that the Sharks may have broken a few laws by limiting Sharkie to "the bite"," NHLMA representative Stephen Moore said on Friday. "In conjunction with his lawyers, we will be asking the Sharks to clarify exactly what stipulations have been put on him over the years."

"If they're found to have broken these laws, we will have no option than to take it up with the league."

When asked what he thought of Sharkie's comments, the Los Angeles Kings' mascot Bailey waved his arms in the air and spun around wildly. According to a Kings official, that translated to: "Sharkie is a talentless hack can't sing or dance, anyways."

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