NASA confirms universe still operating smoothly despite Ho-Sang's jersey number choice

By Wally Barnes

A photograph of the Earth taken from the International Space Station this weekend confirms that everything still okay up there.

A photograph of the Earth taken from the International Space Station this weekend confirms that everything still okay up there.

HOUSTON, TX – Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) confirmed on Monday morning that the Earth's place in the solar system remained unchanged over the weekend, despite Josh Ho-Sang's decision to wear Mario Lemieux's old number 66 last week.

Thousands of people voiced their concern for the state of the world when the Islanders' rookie made his decision public on Thursday.

"When the announcement was made by Mr. Ho-Sang, we began looking at the Earth's magnetic fields to make sure they hadn't shifted as we were led to believe," Dr. Jason Burns, lead astronomer at NASA said on Monday. "Once we did our due diligence and gave that theory the all-clear, we then expanded the lens and began looking at the planet's place in the solar system as a whole."

"Sometimes entire planets can go off their orbital courses when these sorts of things happen, so we needed to make sure all was good there as well."

Fans in Pittsburgh, however, weren't completely convinced. 

"It's an absolute outrage that a young guy can come into this league, thinking he can wear a jersey that hasn't been retired league-wide, and expect that there won't be catastrophic consequences." Penguins fan Ron Tilton told The Elbow. "This has nothing to do with my NHL allegiances...this has everything to do with what's right and wrong in this world."

"When a guy decides to test the hockey gods like this, things can go off the rails real quick."

At press time, local authorities confirmed that there were still yet to be any confirmed sightings of frogs raining from the sky or locusts destroying fields.

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