The Elbow staff
MONTREAL, QC – A local man today revealed that he has begun intense personality conversion therapy at his family's request, after being caught openly cheering for the Ducks against the Nashville Predators.
The Canadiens fan said that he first noticed symptoms last Friday, but didn't reveal them to his loved ones until yesterday.
"I remember the very moment that I had the first set of thoughts," he told The Elbow. "Kesler was taking a faceoff against Johansen in game one and I just thought, 'I really like the way this guy goes about this hockey.'"
"I sat down with my dad last night and told him that between him, Perry and Bieksa, I was having a hard time finding a guy that I didn't like on this team."
The reaction from his parents was swift, as they rushed him to the local emergency room, before being directed to see one of the best psychologists in the province.
"I've not heard of a case as serious as this since a group of Islanders fans were caught rooting for the Devils in the 2003 Cup Final," Dr. Richard von Haat at the Montreal General Hospital said. "After all these years, just saying that out loud sounds strange again. No sane person was cheering against Jiggy and the boys that year."
"This young man is just lucky it was diagnosed early."