The Elbow staff
OTTAWA, ON – Four local men were arrested on Monday for planning to toss a dead senator over the glass and onto the ice before tomorrow's game six against Pittsburgh.
Hoping to start what they believed would be a new tradition for Senators playoff games, the group had dug up the grave of a former senator and dressed it in a team jersey.
The men said that after all of the poor press the team had received about playing boring hockey, and needing mannequins to fill up empty seats for playoff games, they decided it was time for fans to have a tradition they could be proud of.
"The Wings have their octopi, the Panthers have their rats, high-scoring teams have their hats. Why can't we have our senators?"
"There's one nice, quiet cemetery 15 minutes away from the arena where they bury well-known ex-politicians, so it's really convenient. We stopped by there last night and dug up the first one we could find."
"And unlike octopi, if you go to the cemetery at the right time, it's completely free."
It remains to be seen if the tradition will catch on.