The Elbow staff
PHILADELPHIA, PA – A local man has today disavowed the entire National Hockey League after witnessing what he described as "a bigger cover-up than Watergate" in Pittsburgh's 2-0 win over Nashville on Sunday night.
Tony Bermini, a 23-year-old Flyers fan, announced in a 1,000 word letter on Facebook that he would be taking his support to another league.
"Congratulations NHL, you got the outcome you wanted," he declared to 148 Facebook friends. "And as such, you've lost me as a fan forever."
"When fans walk away, this league will fall to its knees. Let me be the first domino to fall. With me goes all of those dollars I would've spent on jerseys and merchandise over the next 20 years. Those will be spent on another, more deserving sport."
Bermini said he is yet to announce where he will be taking his support, but made clear that it would be to somewhere the championship winners "aren't decided in the head offices of the league."
"Gary Buttman has ruined hockey. Every year we know who is going to win before the puck is even dropped. Its discusting [sic]!! And for the second straight year, Crysby did not deserve the MVP."
According to sources within the NHL, Gary Bettman called an emergency special ops meeting after a copy of the letter was dropped on his desk, to figure out how to keep Bermini from taking his support elsewhere.