The Elbow staff
HEMINGFORD, NE – Pittsburgh Penguins assistant manager of bookkeeping, Terry Law today got what he firmly believes is his well-deserved day with the Stanley Cup.
The reclusive numbers guy spent 20 minutes sitting with the cup on a park bench this afternoon before taking it to his basement apartment to watch Breaking Bad reruns.
"After toiling through the whole season, coming in from nine to five on Mondays through Fridays, it's great that I'm able to see all that hard work pay off," Law told reporters. "That doesn't include the days I worked through my lunch, either."
"I'm as much a part of this as any of the players and coaches."
When asked what the man's contribution meant to the team, head coach Mike Sullivan admitted that he had never heard of him.
"This guy got to touch the cup?" He asked reporters. "I'm sure he did his job well, reporting to whoever he reports to, and balancing whatever books needed balancing."
One of the official keepers of the cup, Andrew McConnell said the day was a total waste.
"We completely lost a day here that could've been better spent engaging with local kids in the community, or hell, just one single other person."
"We would've achieved more if we just took it to get a fresh polish."