The Elbow staff
MONTREAL, QC – Youppi!, the long-time mascot of the Montreal Canadiens, has allegedly been in control of an illicit street performance syndicate for the past two years, friends say.
The mascot, who has spent the last 12 years entertaining fans at the Bell Centre, reportedly first got involved with the group in 2013 after being told by numerous medical professionals that they had no idea what he was.
"Ever since he was told by doctors that it was impossible to pinpoint his genus, he hasn't been the same fun-loving Youppi! that we all remember," a former friend who asked to remain anonymous said.
"He worked so hard to find an identity after that, but when you're a big furry orange thing that waddles and can't defecate, that's not easy. I remember him telling us that he was a lion one day. We didn't know what to say to him."
Youppi!'s fall from grace has been a swift one.
"First it was the booze and some party drugs, nothing too harmful. But within a few months of the doctors' findings, he was hooked on heroin and jazz, as well as all sorts of other nasty stuff."
"He started telling us how he wanted to become a busker...maybe that he'd even do some street miming. That's when we knew we had lost him."
According to local authorities, the street performance group that Youppi! rules over consists of 30 mimes, 25 musicians and a Statue of Liberty.
The 'Sanctimonious Stars', as they call themselves, run all of the street entertainment in and around Montreal. Over the past two years, they've forced all independent street performers to join the gang, or risk violent retribution. The deaths of several street performers are currently under investigation by the RCMP.
Youppi! is currently wanted by authorities for several crimes, including aggravated assault, motor vehicle theft, and drug trafficking.