COLUMBUS, OH – The Blue Jackets are going on parade!
The team has put plans in place for a full ticker tape parade through downtown Columbus this Wednesday, after the Pittsburgh Penguins officially acknowledged them as a rival.
The parade will feature all members of the organization in a celebration that team officials are calling a win for the entire city.
Read MoreNEW YORK, NY – The Staten Island Skate Palace, a local ice arena that seats 2,000 patrons, has rejected up to 15 requests from the New York Islanders to play regular season NHL games there.
With the Barclays Center potentially opting out of its lease agreement with the team at the end of the 2018-19 season, reports indicate that the Islanders have been frantically calling local arenas about signing a long-term lease.
Read MoreNEW YORK, NY – The NHL today unveiled the newest skills-based competition that will feature at this weekend's All-Star game.
The Concussion Challenge will give each competitor five minutes to effectively mask concussion symptoms following a devastating head hit to the head from one of two defencemen.
Read MoreTORONTO, ON – Scientists at the University of Toronto today confirmed that there is an "absolutely quantifiable" link between teams whose players walk on locker room logos and the amount of years spent out of the playoffs.
The study found that between 1992 and 2016, every NHL team that made the playoffs had a less than five percent "walk-over rate". The teams with the longest current playoff droughts – Edmonton and Carolina – have committed the most amount of walk overs in the past 10 years.
Read MoreTORONTO, ON – A league-wide memo has been sent out by the NHL Players' Association encouraging all players to begin using the line "at this time of the season" when being interviewed by the media.
The letter obtained by The Elbow says that despite the fact that the playoffs are still three months away, now is the time to pretend like every game matters.
Read MoreOTTAWA, ON – Senators forward Ryan Dzingel has reportedly spent the last two months trying to convince his teammates to use his surname as their newest locker room catchphrase.
The 24-year-old insists it has nothing to do with his obsession with TV show The Big Bang Theory, saying he just thinks Dzingel sounds super cool and he's heard other people use it.
Read MorePITTSBURGH, PA – Penguins owners Mario Lemieux and Ron Burkle today announced that they have formally begun the process to change the team's name to the Pittsburgh Pengwins.
Citing their recent Stanley Cup win and a need reinforce the team's desire to remain successful, the two men said a name change is necessary.
Read MorePITTSBURGH, PA – NHL superstar Sidney Crosby has announced his immediate retirement from hockey after succumbing to several debilitating superstitions.
The 29-year-old's shock decision comes after two decades of dealing with the condition. According to teammates, he has missed the start of every pre-game skate for the past 21 years.
Read MoreMONTREAL, QC – The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) today announced that it has issued a Canada-wide arrest warrant for Montreal Canadiens defenceman Shea Weber.
The veteran blueliner is wanted for a spate of recent attacks on men, all in the 18-35 age range, who have suffered serious injuries as a result of being caught in the crossfire of a deadly weapon.
Read MoreMISSISSAUGA, ON – Ontario Hockey League commissioner David Branch today announced that the league would be employing members of the Queen's Guard for the remainder of the season to patrol the ice to discourage streakers.
The unusual move came after a CHL commission was opened after a fan jumped the glass back in October, running from one end of the rink to the other before being escorted off by referees.
Read MoreGLENROCK, WY – Every single person involved with the Glenrock Knights confirmed on Friday that they think goaltender Jimmy Rohan is lying to himself if he thinks he's got any chance at ever playing pro hockey.
The 27-year-old boasts an .865 save percentage and 4.25 goals against average through 20 appearances over four years with the team. He is yet to post a win.
Read MoreST. LOUIS, MO – Members of the St. Louis Blues today announced that they will make the most of their opportunity to finally wear eye black at today's Winter Classic game.
With this being the franchise's first outdoor game in its history, players feel that their turn to look cool sporting the black grease is long overdue.
Read MoreMINNEAPOLIS, MN – Two local parents have been rocked by the tragic news that their teenage son has been diagnosed as a Colorado Avalanche fan.
Doctors at the University of Minnesota Medical Center informed Gary and Linda Hickey on Saturday that their sad, brooding 14-year-old was suffering the debilitating affliction.
Read MoreTHORNHILL, ON – The Burns family today announced that they are very excited to watch yet another round of outdoor games as the new year approaches.
With tickets to Toronto's game against Detroit at BMO Field on Sunday, the family of four say they are still not completely sick and tired of the spectacle.
Read MoreTORONTO, ON – According to eyewitness accounts, a man wearing a Capitals jersey has spent the last four hours skating rings around beginners at a local rink.
The man, sporting a red Ovechkin jersey, arrived at the rink just before 9am and was still there as of 12:55pm at last report.
Read MoreLOS ANGELES, CA – A local father of two is still trying to convince himself that purchasing All-Star game tickets as a Christmas present for he and his nine-year-old son was a good decision.
Todd Harvey, 36, said that his boy had mentioned something in passing about the All-Star game vote in early December. With Christmas fast approaching and no other ideas on what to buy, he decided to pull the trigger on the tickets.
Read MoreBAGLEY, MI – A Detroit-area man today revealed to his buddies that he has always been a big fan of watching the World Junior Championships.
While watching the game between Switzerland and the Czech Republic, William Moss insisted that the Red Wings' likelihood of picking high in the NHL draft had absolutely nothing to do with his current interest in the competition.
Read MoreCOLUMBUS, OH – Over 200 people have been killed after the Blue Jackets goal cannon malfunctioned and fired live rounds into the crowd following a goal.
The incident occurred in the third period after the Jackets scored their seventh goal of the game and 108th of the season.
Read MoreVANCOUVER, BC – Simon Porter, a five-year-old suffering from terminal brain cancer, has failed to impress Vancouver Canucks coaching staff in his first practice session after signing a one-day Make-A-Wish contract this morning.
The right winger for the Maple Ridge Seahawks mini mites team was described as a lethargic and lazy skater with below-average puckhandling skills.
Read MoreSUNRISE, FL – In the hopes of attracting fans to the BB&T Center to boost dwindling attendance numbers, the Panthers today announced that they will be broadcasting bingo on the jumbotron during games for the rest of the season.
As part of the campaign, fans will receive a bingo card, a dauber, and a coupon for unlimited soda upon entry to the arena. Approximately half of the existing seats in the lower bowl will be removed in order to accommodate the expected influx of motorized scooters.
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