DETROIT, MI – Red Wings fans are today celebrating the opportunity to purchase another small part of the Joe Louis Arena.
The team announced on Friday that they have extracted and packaged five gallons of putrid, clogged waste from the troughs and toilets throughout the arena.
Read MoreDALLAS, TX – Just one day ahead of their first preseason game, the Stars have announced that the 9,000 seats making up the lower bowl section at American Airlines Center have been completely removed to make way for a "fan pit".
The muddied area boasts a loose capacity of 26,000, bringing the arena's maximum attendance to a league-leading 35,000.
Read MoreNEW YORK, NY – In a joint press conference with jersey manufacturer Adidas, the NHL today announced that teams will be sporting logos equipped with scratch and sniff technology this season.
League commissioner Gary Bettman said fans will be able to purchase jerseys with the scratch and sniff logos for an additional price of $49.99.
Read MoreMONTREAL, QC – Canadiens forward Tomas Plekanec today unveiled a new line of turtlenecks that he says will "revolutionize hockey comfort and style".
The turtlenecks, which have been endorsed by Diane Keaton, come with several features that the forward hopes will encourage young players to embrace the brand.
Read MoreCAMBRIDGE, MA – An extensive study undertaken by researchers at Harvard University has been published, revealing stunning findings about fans of other hockey teams.
The research group of 30 graduate students, led by Dr. Simon Broderick, concluded that opposition fans are almost exclusively uneducated degenerates who know very little about the game of hockey.
Read MoreNEWARK, NJ – The Devils kicked off their 2017-18 season ticket promotion today with a fresh new slogan entitled "Real Nerds".
The team is hoping that the campaign can reach all corners of the hockey market in New Jersey, from those who are athletically-inclined to those at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Read MoreHEMINGFORD, NE – Pittsburgh Penguins assistant manager of bookkeeping, Terry Law today got what he firmly believes is his well-deserved day with the Stanley Cup.
The reclusive numbers guy spent 20 minutes sitting with the cup on a park bench this afternoon before taking it to his basement apartment to watch Breaking Bad reruns.
Read MoreEDMONTON, AB – After a successful game-worn jersey auction last week, the Oilers turned their focus to selling other leftover player equipment on Friday.
The team hosted an exclusive jockstrap auction for season ticket holders at Rogers Place, with approximately ten fans in attendance.
Read MoreNASHVILLE, TN – According to authorities, earplugs in the Nashville metropolitan area are at critical levels, after locals stormed stores in preparation for the upcoming contest to crown the Predators' newest national anthem singer.
The tryouts will be held at the Bridgestone Arena in front of a live TV audience and panel of judges. It will also be shown on a large screen outside of the arena, with team officials saying that people within a one mile radius of the area will be able to hear the singers.
Read MoreCHICAGO, IL – Looking to revamp their ice crew with some fresh blood, the Blackhawks began tryouts for male personnel today.
On-ice activities tested skating skills and the ability to shovel snow, with particular focus centring on the attractiveness of the applicants.
Read MoreLAS VEGAS, NV – In a stunning admission today, the Golden Knights announced that its social media team had failed to respond to a fan's tweet on Saturday.
The tweet, which reportedly consisted of a selfie with the fan wearing a newly-purchased team hat, was posted at 10am that day. As of 6pm Sunday, it had not been replied to or retweeted by the team.
Read MoreOTTAWA, ON – Senators GM Pierre Dorion today announced that he is confident college star Will Butcher will give his team a passing thought before inevitably agreeing to the Blackhawks' offer this summer.
After meeting with the University of Denver forward today, Dorion told reporters that his team's impressive playoff run this year helped put the Sens in an enviable position.
Read MoreVANCOUVER, BC – Insisting that he would do it if it helped pass the off-season quicker, local man Jamie Billings has today given in to his wife's pleas that he finally spend some meaningful time bonding with his two young sons.
Exhibiting uncharacteristic bravery, Billings entered the bedroom of his four-year-old son Noah on Tuesday morning and cautiously approached the boy who was busy drawing in crayon.
Read MorePHILADELPHIA, PA – Flyers' second overall draft pick Nolan Patrick today told reporters that he hopes to find creative ways to be kept out of the team's lineup this season.
Patrick, who is currently sidelined with an infection of the face, is already planning ahead to his next major affliction.
Read MoreCALGARY, AB – Beloved mascot of the Calgary Flames, Harvey the Hound, was put down overnight after being hit by a car on a busy city road.
Emergency personnel were called to the scene around 11:40pm on Thursday, where the popular mascot was found lying motionless on the asphalt with serious injuries. Shortly after being airlifted to a veterinary clinic, he was administered a fatal dose of pentobarbital and pronounced dead.
Read MoreNEW YORK, NY – Starting this year, all NHL seasons will begin with a three month lockout from October to January as part of the league's plan to regulate work stoppages.
Commissioner Gary Bettman spoke at NHL headquarters this morning as he revealed the plan that he hopes will define his legacy.
Read MoreWASHINGTON, D.C. – Coming off their team's second straight Presidents' Trophy win, Capitals players will begin a summer of celebration by showing off the team's newest hardware in the coming weeks.
Captain Alex Ovechkin took the trophy to a Baltimore Orioles game last week, and is set to leave for his hometown of Moscow, Russia this week to share the occasion with family and friends.
Read MoreDENVER, CO – The two diehard hockey fans who last week agreed on a trade in principle to send Matt Duchene from Colorado to the New York Islanders have been left wondering what has taken the GMs so long to finalize the deal.
The Avalanche and Islanders fans, Tim Hall and James Tran, hashed out Duchene's trade value over an intense two hour session on a popular hockey forum on Tuesday.
Read MoreWith the Vegas Golden Knights' expansion draft – their debutante ball, if you will – fast approaching, The Elbow is taking an in-depth look at who will be lining up this fall for the NHL's 31st team, and why.
You've probably read hundreds of well thought-out think pieces and essays about the machinations of this draft, but look no further. Put your house on these picks. We present to you, the results of the 2017 Vegas Golden Knights expansion draft.
Read MorePHILADELPHIA, PA – A local man has today disavowed the entire National Hockey League after witnessing what he described as "a bigger cover-up than Watergate" in Pittsburgh's 2-0 win over Nashville on Sunday night.
Tony Bermini, a 23-year-old Flyers fan, announced in a 1,000 word letter on Facebook that he would be taking his support to another league.
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