TORONTO, ON – Head coach of Canada's men's hockey team, Willie Desjardins, today told reporters that the experience he got coaching the Canucks will prove invaluable at next year's Olympic Games.
After three years behind the bench in Vancouver, Desjardins believes he has the perfect experience to lead a team without one single NHL player.
Read MoreNEW YORK, NY – Renowned play-by-play man, Mike 'Doc' Emrick, will be out of action for the next two weeks, NBCSN announced today.
The DocBot™, as he's known to his creators, has been responsible for successfully calling thousands of hockey games over the last four decades, however, in an effort to make him more easily understood by fans, will have his vocabulary drive restored this week.
Read MoreLOS ANGELES, CA – The LA Kings today announced that they have fined a fan $5,000 for failing to bang on the glass during a fight that happened directly in front of him on Saturday night.
The team said it was important to stand by its rules and punish idiotic behaviour before other fans think they can get away with the same thing.
Read MoreMONTREAL, QC – Youppi!, the long-time mascot of the Montreal Canadiens, has allegedly been in control of an illicit street performance syndicate for the past two years, friends say.
The mascot, who has spent the last 12 years entertaining fans at the Bell Centre, reportedly first got involved with the group in 2013 after being told by numerous medical professionals that they had no idea what he was.
Read MoreDENVER, CO – A group of Colorado Avalanche fans has written an open letter to President Donald Trump and NHL commissioner Gary Bettman following the weekend's developments.
The group of diehard supporters co-signed the memo asking for sports to be left out of their beloved politics after the Pittsburgh Penguins announced that they would be accepting the invitation to the White House.
Read MoreDETROIT, MI – Red Wings fans are today celebrating the opportunity to purchase another small part of the Joe Louis Arena.
The team announced on Friday that they have extracted and packaged five gallons of putrid, clogged waste from the troughs and toilets throughout the arena.
Read MoreDALLAS, TX – Just one day ahead of their first preseason game, the Stars have announced that the 9,000 seats making up the lower bowl section at American Airlines Center have been completely removed to make way for a "fan pit".
The muddied area boasts a loose capacity of 26,000, bringing the arena's maximum attendance to a league-leading 35,000.
Read MoreNEW YORK, NY – In a joint press conference with jersey manufacturer Adidas, the NHL today announced that teams will be sporting logos equipped with scratch and sniff technology this season.
League commissioner Gary Bettman said fans will be able to purchase jerseys with the scratch and sniff logos for an additional price of $49.99.
Read MoreMONTREAL, QC – Canadiens forward Tomas Plekanec today unveiled a new line of turtlenecks that he says will "revolutionize hockey comfort and style".
The turtlenecks, which have been endorsed by Diane Keaton, come with several features that the forward hopes will encourage young players to embrace the brand.
Read MoreCAMBRIDGE, MA – An extensive study undertaken by researchers at Harvard University has been published, revealing stunning findings about fans of other hockey teams.
The research group of 30 graduate students, led by Dr. Simon Broderick, concluded that opposition fans are almost exclusively uneducated degenerates who know very little about the game of hockey.
Read MoreNEWARK, NJ – The Devils kicked off their 2017-18 season ticket promotion today with a fresh new slogan entitled "Real Nerds".
The team is hoping that the campaign can reach all corners of the hockey market in New Jersey, from those who are athletically-inclined to those at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Read MoreHEMINGFORD, NE – Pittsburgh Penguins assistant manager of bookkeeping, Terry Law today got what he firmly believes is his well-deserved day with the Stanley Cup.
The reclusive numbers guy spent 20 minutes sitting with the cup on a park bench this afternoon before taking it to his basement apartment to watch Breaking Bad reruns.
Read MoreEDMONTON, AB – After a successful game-worn jersey auction last week, the Oilers turned their focus to selling other leftover player equipment on Friday.
The team hosted an exclusive jockstrap auction for season ticket holders at Rogers Place, with approximately ten fans in attendance.
Read MoreNASHVILLE, TN – According to authorities, earplugs in the Nashville metropolitan area are at critical levels, after locals stormed stores in preparation for the upcoming contest to crown the Predators' newest national anthem singer.
The tryouts will be held at the Bridgestone Arena in front of a live TV audience and panel of judges. It will also be shown on a large screen outside of the arena, with team officials saying that people within a one mile radius of the area will be able to hear the singers.
Read MoreCHICAGO, IL – Looking to revamp their ice crew with some fresh blood, the Blackhawks began tryouts for male personnel today.
On-ice activities tested skating skills and the ability to shovel snow, with particular focus centring on the attractiveness of the applicants.
Read MoreLAS VEGAS, NV – In a stunning admission today, the Golden Knights announced that its social media team had failed to respond to a fan's tweet on Saturday.
The tweet, which reportedly consisted of a selfie with the fan wearing a newly-purchased team hat, was posted at 10am that day. As of 6pm Sunday, it had not been replied to or retweeted by the team.
Read MoreOTTAWA, ON – Senators GM Pierre Dorion today announced that he is confident college star Will Butcher will give his team a passing thought before inevitably agreeing to the Blackhawks' offer this summer.
After meeting with the University of Denver forward today, Dorion told reporters that his team's impressive playoff run this year helped put the Sens in an enviable position.
Read MoreVANCOUVER, BC – Insisting that he would do it if it helped pass the off-season quicker, local man Jamie Billings has today given in to his wife's pleas that he finally spend some meaningful time bonding with his two young sons.
Exhibiting uncharacteristic bravery, Billings entered the bedroom of his four-year-old son Noah on Tuesday morning and cautiously approached the boy who was busy drawing in crayon.
Read MorePHILADELPHIA, PA – Flyers' second overall draft pick Nolan Patrick today told reporters that he hopes to find creative ways to be kept out of the team's lineup this season.
Patrick, who is currently sidelined with an infection of the face, is already planning ahead to his next major affliction.
Read MoreCALGARY, AB – Beloved mascot of the Calgary Flames, Harvey the Hound, was put down overnight after being hit by a car on a busy city road.
Emergency personnel were called to the scene around 11:40pm on Thursday, where the popular mascot was found lying motionless on the asphalt with serious injuries. Shortly after being airlifted to a veterinary clinic, he was administered a fatal dose of pentobarbital and pronounced dead.
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