Babcock to scratch Matthews if he keeps being forced to enjoy his job

Babcock to scratch Matthews if he keeps being forced to enjoy his job

TORONTO, ON – Maple Leafs head coach Mike Babcock today said that he would not hesitate to send star rookie Auston Matthews to the press box if he keeps being forced to enjoy highlight-reel plays by the forward.

The harsh words came after the 19-year-old scored one of the goals of the season, forcing the coach to purse his lips and force a smile down on the bench.

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Patrik Lainebot 2900 in for repairs after scoring malfunction against Edmonton

Patrik Lainebot 2900 in for repairs after scoring malfunction against Edmonton

WINNIPEG, MB – After scoring a game-losing own goal on Sunday night, the Winnipeg Jets’ Patrik Lainebot 2900 was back in the laboratory for repairs on Monday due to what team officials are calling a “minor technical bug” in the robot’s programming.

Lainebot 2900, a 206-pound state-of-the-art android designed to resemble an 18-year-old Finnish right winger, was performing well beyond the Jets’ expectations, having scored 17 goals in 32 games to start the season.

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Auston Matthews enjoying life since retiring from hockey

Auston Matthews enjoying life since retiring from hockey

HALIBURTON, ON – Toronto Maple Leafs forward Auston Matthews has been living life on the wild side since retiring from hockey two weeks ago.

The league's first overall draft pick in 2016 has reportedly taken up hunting and hiking since officially hanging up his skates shortly after his debut game in October this year.

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Population of Toronto more than doubles as Leafs fans emerge from nowhere

Population of Toronto more than doubles as Leafs fans emerge from nowhere

TORONTO, ON – The Ontario provincial government today announced that the population of Toronto has more than doubled overnight, following Auston Matthews' four-goal game against the Ottawa Senators.

Previously listed at 2.8 million people, it has been revealed that over 6.4 million people are now living in city. It is an increase not seen in Toronto since the end of the Second World War.

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NHL fans can't wait to see how their favourite players get injured at World Cup

NHL fans can't wait to see how their favourite players get injured at World Cup

TORONTO, ON – With the World Cup of Hockey now underway, fans around the league are on the edge of their seats, excitedly waiting to see how their team's stars get injured playing in the tournament.

Dallas fans got an early taste of the excitement, with star centre Tyler Seguin sidelined with a fractured heel after injuring it in a pre-tournament game last week.

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BREAKING: Auston Matthews negotiating five year contract extension with Zurich

BREAKING: Auston Matthews negotiating five year contract extension with Zurich

Zurich, Switzerland – The Swiss league is about to pull off the heist of the century.

Auston Matthews – the player most people expected to go first overall at this year's NHL Entry Draft – has decided to stay with his current club for the foreseeable future.

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