Earplug shortage in Nashville as contest for Predators' new anthem singer begins

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Earplug shortage in Nashville as contest for Predators' new anthem singer begins

NASHVILLE, TN – According to authorities, earplugs in the Nashville metropolitan area are at critical levels, after locals stormed stores in preparation for the upcoming contest to crown the Predators' newest national anthem singer.

The tryouts will be held at the Bridgestone Arena in front of a live TV audience and panel of judges. It will also be shown on a large screen outside of the arena, with team officials saying that people within a one mile radius of the area will be able to hear the singers.

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Local catfish can't wait for children to see his guts spilled out on national TV

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Local catfish can't wait for children to see his guts spilled out on national TV

NASHVILLE, TN – Sitting on a dock along the Cumberland River, Norman Lewis has only one thing on his mind ahead of Sunday's game six.

"It'd be a great shame to be wasted on a plate," the 24-year-old catfish told The Elbow. "If I had one wish as I lie here, struggling to breathe, it would be that my carcass is snuck into Bridgestone arena under a sweaty man's jersey, flung 20 metres over peoples' heads and onto the ice."

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Country singer waiting for her big chance to butcher U.S. national anthem

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Country singer waiting for her big chance to butcher U.S. national anthem

FRANKLIN, TN – Up-and-coming country singer Taylor Tucker today revealed that she is keenly awaiting her moment to mutilate the Star-Spangled Banner in the Stanley Cup Final.

After watching Martina McBride and Dierks Bentley force words out of their mouths to the tune the anthem before the past two games, she believes she is ready for her opportunity.

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Mayors of Nashville and Pittsburgh make bet; loser to wear Avalanche gear for a week

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Mayors of Nashville and Pittsburgh make bet; loser to wear Avalanche gear for a week

PITTSBURGH, PA – As is tradition, the mayors of the two teams competing in the Stanley Cup Final have made a friendly bet regarding the outcome of the series.

Nashville's mayor, Megan Barry, alongside Bill Peduto of Pittsburgh spoke to the media outside PPG Paints Arena this afternoon to announce the terms of the arrangement.

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Overwhelming support for Predators taking an emotional toll on Penguins

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Overwhelming support for Predators taking an emotional toll on Penguins

PITTSBURGH, PA – As Nashville prepares to face off against Pittsburgh in their first Stanley Cup Final in team history next week, they have been the recipients of overwhelming support from neutral fans throughout the league.

So much so, that several Penguins players have admitted that the immense bandwagon support for their opponents – and lack of neutral support for them – has begun to hurt their feelings.

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League suspends Ryan Johansen for not wearing suit to game

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League suspends Ryan Johansen for not wearing suit to game

NASHVILLE, TN – Predators forward Ryan Johansen has been suspended for the first ten games of the 2017-18 season after failing to arrive at his team's game six matchup against the Ducks wearing the correct attire.

League rules mandate that all players wear suits to games, regardless of if they're playing that evening or suffering from potentially life-threatening injuries. It's also preferred that they do something nice with their hair, as well.

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Neutral fan seeks professional help after being caught cheering for Anaheim

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Neutral fan seeks professional help after being caught cheering for Anaheim

MONTREAL, QC – A local man today revealed that he has begun intense personality conversion therapy at his family's request, after being caught openly cheering for the Ducks against the Nashville Predators.

The Habs fan said he first noticed symptoms last Friday, but didn't reveal them to his loved ones until yesterday.

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Offside challenge is coach's favourite part of the job

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Offside challenge is coach's favourite part of the job

NASHVILLE, TN – Predators head coach Peter Laviolette was reportedly heard saying today that his favourite part of the job is challenging offsides after opposing teams score.

The veteran bench boss said the excitement that he gets from a coach's challenge is unlike any other play in hockey, and that before the league introduced the rule last season, he wouldn't do much during games.

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As victims pile up, RCMP issues Canada-wide arrest warrant for Shea Weber

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MONTREAL, QC – The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) today announced that it has issued a Canada-wide arrest warrant for Montreal Canadiens defenceman Shea Weber. 

The veteran blueliner is wanted for a spate of recent attacks on men, all in the 18-35 age range, who have suffered serious injuries as a result of being caught in the crossfire of a deadly weapon.

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Subban having trouble sleeping without daily fan abuse ringing in his ears

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Subban having trouble sleeping without daily fan abuse ringing in his ears

NASHVILLE, TN – Predators defenceman P.K. Subban has told team doctors that he has barely been able to sleep at night since being traded to Nashville.

The 2013 Norris Trophy winner has complained about not hearing the criticisms of his all-world abilities on television, radio, and in person every waking hour.

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Desperate for a centre, Blue Jackets eye Nashville's Johansen

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Desperate for a centre, Blue Jackets eye Nashville's Johansen

COLUMBUS, OH – After acquiring a much-needed defenceman in Seth Jones yesterday, Columbus general manager Jarmo Kekäläinen is far from finished, with sources saying that he is chasing hard after Nashville's Ryan Johansen.

A unnamed source inside the Blue Jackets organization said that the front office is high on the skill that Johansen possesses and believes he would be a perfect compliment to the locker room.

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