Shero considers claiming Niemi in the hopes of guaranteeing another lottery pick

Shero considers claiming Niemi in the hopes of guaranteeing another lottery pick

NEWARK, NJ – This fast start may not be exactly what New Jersey Devils general manager Ray Shero had in mind before the season.

Speaking exclusively with The Elbow on Monday afternoon, the former Penguins GM said he had his sights set on yet another high draft pick in the upcoming summer, however after his team's 6-2-0 start, Shero has had to consider ways in which he could encourage a drop in the standings.

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Complete random believes he earned his day with the Stanley Cup

Complete random believes he earned his day with the Stanley Cup

HEMINGFORD, NE – Pittsburgh Penguins assistant manager of bookkeeping, Terry Law today got what he firmly believes is his well-deserved day with the Stanley Cup.

The reclusive numbers guy spent 20 minutes sitting with the cup on a park bench this afternoon before taking it to his basement apartment to watch Breaking Bad reruns.

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Local catfish can't wait for children to see his guts spilled out on national TV

Local catfish can't wait for children to see his guts spilled out on national TV

NASHVILLE, TN – Sitting on a dock along the Cumberland River, Norman Lewis has only one thing on his mind ahead of Sunday's game six.

"It'd be a great shame to be wasted on a plate," the 24-year-old catfish told The Elbow. "If I had one wish as I lie here, struggling to breathe, it would be that my carcass is snuck into Bridgestone arena under a sweaty man's jersey, flung 20 metres over peoples' heads and onto the ice."

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Mayors of Nashville and Pittsburgh make bet; loser to wear Avalanche gear for a week

Mayors of Nashville and Pittsburgh make bet; loser to wear Avalanche gear for a week

PITTSBURGH, PA – As is tradition, the mayors of the two teams competing in the Stanley Cup Final have made a friendly bet regarding the outcome of the series.

Nashville's mayor, Megan Barry, alongside Bill Peduto of Pittsburgh spoke to the media outside PPG Paints Arena this afternoon to announce the terms of the arrangement.

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Overwhelming support for Predators taking an emotional toll on Penguins

Overwhelming support for Predators taking an emotional toll on Penguins

PITTSBURGH, PA – As Nashville prepares to face off against Pittsburgh in their first Stanley Cup Final in team history next week, they have been the recipients of overwhelming support from neutral fans throughout the league.

So much so, that several Penguins players have admitted that the immense bandwagon support for their opponents – and lack of neutral support for them – has begun to hurt their feelings.

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Cardboard cutout of Brooks Orpik found in Pittsburgh dumpster; Game 5 replacement not yet named

Cardboard cutout of Brooks Orpik found in Pittsburgh dumpster; Game 5 replacement not yet named

PITTSBURGH, PA – Capitals blueliner Brooks Orpik has been spotted in a dumpster not far from the PPG Paints Arena on the morning of his team's game five contest against the Penguins.

The lifeless, rain-soaked cardboard cutout, who has played in all but three games for his team this season, was reportedly found by a waste management employee on Friday.

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Amnesty International and United Nations team up to stop bloodshed in Columbus

Amnesty International and United Nations team up to stop bloodshed in Columbus

COLUMBUS, OH – Human rights organization Amnesty International has joined forces with the United Nations to try putting an end to the carnage in Columbus following last night's overtime loss against the Penguins.

The UN deployed 200 of an expected 1,000 peacekeepers in and around Nationwide Arena today. They will be charged with discouraging the brutal slaughter orchestrated by head coach Mike Sullivan on the unsuspecting Blue Jackets.

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Blackhawks deny eyewitness reports of mysterious third forward appearing on Kane and Panarin line

Blackhawks deny eyewitness reports of mysterious third forward appearing on Kane and Panarin line

PITTSBURGH, PA – According to several eyewitnesses at the Penguins-Blackhawks game on Wednesday evening, an unidentified third forward was sighted on Chicago's second line alongside Patrick Kane and Artemi Panarin.

The sighting, and subsequent testimony of fans in attendance, contradicts all game logs and statistics taken this season. No records indicate that the two players have played with anyone else on their line.

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Blue Jackets plan parade after Penguins acknowledge rivalry

Blue Jackets plan parade after Penguins acknowledge rivalry

COLUMBUS, OH – The Blue Jackets are going on parade!

The team has put plans in place for a full ticker tape parade through downtown Columbus this Wednesday, after the Pittsburgh Penguins officially acknowledged them as a rival. 

The parade will feature all members of the organization in a celebration that team officials are calling a win for the entire city.

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Pittsburgh formally applies to change name to Pengwins

Pittsburgh formally applies to change name to Pengwins

PITTSBURGH, PA – Penguins owners Mario Lemieux and Ron Burkle today announced that they have formally begun the process to change the team's name to the Pittsburgh Pengwins.

Citing their recent Stanley Cup win and a need reinforce the team's desire to remain successful, the two men said a name change is necessary.

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Debilitating superstitions force Sidney Crosby to retire

Debilitating superstitions force Sidney Crosby to retire

PITTSBURGH, PA – NHL superstar Sidney Crosby has announced his immediate retirement from hockey after succumbing to several debilitating superstitions.

The 29-year-old's shock decision comes after two decades of dealing with the condition. According to teammates, he has missed the start of every pre-game skate for the past 21 years.

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Pens' commentators to be the voices of NHL 18

Pens' commentators to be the voices of NHL 18

PITTSBURGH, PA – The developer of video game franchise NHL 17 today announced that Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey will be the voices of next year's game.

EA Sports today confirmed that the pair will replace Mike 'Doc' Emrick and Ed Olczyk who have been providing commentary for the game since 2015.

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Crosby "totally unaffected" by concussion, caretaker says

Crosby "totally unaffected" by concussion, caretaker says

PITTSBURGH, PA – Appearing at a news conference alongside his caretaker Tuesday afternoon, Penguins captain Sidney Crosby mumbled that he was feeling "great" despite suffering yet another concussion last week.

His carer, who translated his occasional mutters and head rolls, said the reigning Conn Smythe Trophy winner was surprised by the diagnosis he got over the weekend.

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Ovechkin plans on releasing Russian bed bugs in Penguins locker room

Ovechkin plans on releasing Russian bed bugs in Penguins locker room

PITTSBURGH, PA – With his teammates working hard on the ice in the lead-up to the World Cup of Hockey later this month, Alex Ovechkin is preparing for a different kind of battle off of it.

According to an anonymous team source, Ovechkin smuggled genetically engineered "super" Russian bed bugs into the U.S. with the intention of releasing them in the Penguins locker room.

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Sharks to wear jersey patch honouring successful playoff campaign

Sharks to wear jersey patch honouring successful playoff campaign

SAN JOSE, CA – The San Jose Sharks today announced that they will be wearing a jersey patch this season to honour the first successful playoff campaign in franchise history

Despite losing to the eventual Stanley Cup champion Penguins in six games, the Sharks believe their road to the Finals is worthy of some serious recognition league-wide.

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Lactose intolerant Stanley Cup hospitalized after too much cereal

Lactose intolerant Stanley Cup hospitalized after too much cereal

PITTSBURGH, PA – The Stanley Cup's annual tour to hometowns of the NHL champions has been put on hold for at least two weeks.

According to sources travelling with the Cup, it was sent to hospital after suffering a severe reaction caused by consuming too much cereal milk.

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Penguins fans call for GM's resignation for failing to win the Stanley Cup, weeks after winning the Stanley Cup

Penguins fans call for GM's resignation for failing to win the Stanley Cup, weeks after winning the Stanley Cup

PITTSBURGH, PA – Over 5,000 Penguins fans have signed an online petition calling for GM Jim Rutherford's head, weeks after he helped lead the team to its fourth Stanley Cup in franchise history.

The organizer of the petition said that he is one of many Penguins fans fed up with the team being ousted in the first and second rounds of the playoffs.

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Dubinsky vows not to use his favourite stick to break over Crosby's back next time

Dubinsky vows not to use his favourite stick to break over Crosby's back next time

COLUMBUS, OH – A repentant Brandon Dubinsky has admitted he made mistakes in the game against Pittsburgh that got him a one game suspension.

The forward spoke out on Sunday, saying the next time he breaks a stick over any part of Sidney Crosby's prone body on the ice, it won't be with one of his favourite sticks.

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Stolen photo frame the source of Malkin's frustration with team

Stolen photo frame the source of Malkin's frustration with team

PITTSBURGH, PA – Following Saturday's 4-0 loss to the New Jersey Devils, Evgeni Malkin was quick to air frustrations about his teammates to the media.

He described them as not playing right, and being "mad at each other". Media outlets across the continent took the comments to mean the team's recent play on the ice was not up to par. However, an anonymous source in the Penguins' organization has indicated that this is not the case.

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