BOSTON, MA – Bruins captain Zdeno Chara is set to miss the next two months as he completes the final stages of his stretching to be medically deemed a 'giant'.

Chara, who without these procedures would stand just 4'10" tall, has been undergoing stretching of his bones, muscles and skin to increase his height since the age of 11.

ST. LOUIS, MO — Two of Tom Wilson's victims spoke up today after the Capitals forward described the hell he's endured while spending the past two weeks in the press box.

The Capitals forward was suspended by the NHL for 20 games to start the regular season.

PHILADELPHIA, PA — After two weeks of being ruthlessly made fun of for his hideous appearance, Flyers mascot Gritty has taken a leave of absence from the team.

A Flyers spokesman today told reporters that the 32-year-old performer had been confined to his bedroom for the past couple of days after hearing nothing but negative feedback about the way he looks from the press and numerous late night talk shows.

OTTAWA, ON – On the eve of the new NHL season, the Ottawa Senators today announced that they would be shifting their focus towards winning Chevrolet's Good Deeds Cup rather than the more traditional goal of the Stanley Cup.

The team believes the competition — which puts an emphasis on charity rather than winning — is a far more achievable goal that suits their style of play.

TORONTO, ON – Maple Leafs president Brendan Shanahan today praised the hard work of its newest general manager Kyle Dubas, after the local boy became the first person to work his way up through the Bring Your Child to Work farm system.

Dubas, 14, initially joined the organization days after his eighth birthday, while his father was working in accounting.

EDMONTON, AB – The Oilers today announced that they will be releasing ticket packages next week for the much anticipated draft lottery in April.

The team will be offering everything from individual seats to luxury suites at Rogers Place for the event. Sales staff expect tickets to sell out in minutes.