The Elbow staff
NEW YORK, NY – The NHL today announced that Arizona forward John Scott will be named captain of the Pacific division team at this year's All Star game.
They are hoping that his impact will give fans a game that is actually entertaining to watch for once.
"If I told you that we put skates on a baby giraffe and taught it to play hockey, would you not want to watch? Well, this year we're giving fans the next best thing," league spokesman Murray Walsh said.
"Introducing the 3-on-3 format this year will guarantee that our fans get maximum comedic value from the event."
Walsh went on to say that everyone in the league's front office is "over the moon" to have a player so obviously new to playing hockey gain the necessary votes to be named captain of a division team.
On an unrelated note, the league said that fan voting will not be used for next year's All Star game.