Blackhawks just going to start wearing regular jerseys for Winter Classic games now

Blackhawks just going to start wearing regular jerseys for Winter Classic games now

CHICAGO, IL – The Blackhawks today announced that they will be wearing their regular home jerseys for all future Winter Classics, as they can no longer be bothered designing new ones for every single outdoor game they play each year.

General manager Stan Bowman said that he and his staff were sick and tired of trying to come up with dumb reasons for why each jersey means something to the team's history.

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Turris and Dorion fooling nobody by pretending nothing happened last night

Turris and Dorion fooling nobody by pretending nothing happened last night

KANATA, ON – Following a reportedly failed trade that saw Kyle Turris almost moved to Nashville overnight, several Senators players say no-one on the team is being fooled by GM Pierre Dorion and Turris acting normally today.

Dorion arrived at the Canadian Tire Centre this morning and tried focussing on greeting his players in the same way he usually does.

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Carolina Hurricanes Awareness Month kicks off for second straight year

Carolina Hurricanes Awareness Month kicks off for second straight year

RALEIGH, NC – The NHL kicked off the annual Carolina Hurricanes Awareness Month to much fanfare on Friday.

A huge crowd of 9,500 people packed into the PNC Arena to hear Ron Francis and Gary Bettman lay out their plans for a busy month full of fan interaction and activities.

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Tampa Bay coach tells Kucherov that it’s still only October; chill

Tampa Bay coach tells Kucherov that it’s still only October; chill

TAMPA BAY, FL – Lightning head coach Jon Cooper reportedly took Nikita Kucherov aside during the first intermission of Thursday night's game against Detroit to offer him some advice about his goal scoring.

According to a team source, Cooper has been unhappy with Kucherov's recent performances, insisting that he "tone it down a little".

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McPhee confident Golden Knights can break out of winning streak

McPhee confident Golden Knights can break out of winning streak

LAS VEGAS, NV – Golden Knights general manager George McPhee has tried easing tensions among fans, saying that his team will be able to break out of its current four-game winning streak soon.

The boss fronted the media after yet another unexpected win on Tuesday evening, this time over the Chicago Blackhawks.

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Zach Parise out months after body replacement surgery

Zach Parise out months after body replacement surgery

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Wild forward Zach Parise has undergone full body replacement surgery after exhausting all options to fix yet another persistent injury.

The cause of this one is not fully known, however team doctors say that the forward will not be returning to the lineup for at least two months, as his head adjusts to a completely different body.

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Shero considers claiming Niemi in the hopes of guaranteeing another lottery pick

Shero considers claiming Niemi in the hopes of guaranteeing another lottery pick

NEWARK, NJ – This fast start may not be exactly what New Jersey Devils general manager Ray Shero had in mind before the season.

Speaking exclusively with The Elbow on Monday afternoon, the former Penguins GM said he had his sights set on yet another high draft pick in the upcoming summer, however after his team's 6-2-0 start, Shero has had to consider ways in which he could encourage a drop in the standings.

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Willie Desjardins: Coaching Canucks perfect preparation for Team Canada without NHL players

Willie Desjardins: Coaching Canucks perfect preparation for Team Canada without NHL players

TORONTO, ON – Head coach of Canada's men's hockey team, Willie Desjardins, today told reporters that the experience he got coaching the Canucks will prove invaluable at next year's Olympic Games.

After three years behind the bench in Vancouver, Desjardins believes he has the perfect experience to lead a team without one single NHL player.

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NBCSN says Doc Emrick to have vocabulary drive restored

NBCSN says Doc Emrick to have vocabulary drive restored

NEW YORK, NY – Renowned play-by-play man, Mike 'Doc' Emrick, will be out of action for the next two weeks, NBCSN announced today.

The DocBot™, as he's known to his creators, has been responsible for successfully calling thousands of hockey games over the last four decades, however, in an effort to make him more easily understood by fans, will have his vocabulary drive restored this week.

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Idiot in front row forgets to bang on glass during fight

Idiot in front row forgets to bang on glass during fight

LOS ANGELES, CA – The LA Kings today announced that they have fined a fan $5,000 for failing to bang on the glass during a fight that happened directly in front of him on Saturday night.

The team said it was important to stand by its rules and punish idiotic behaviour before other fans think they can get away with the same thing.

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Canadiens mascot mixed up in nefarious street performance group

Canadiens mascot mixed up in nefarious street performance group

MONTREAL, QC – Youppi!, the long-time mascot of the Montreal Canadiens, has allegedly been in control of an illicit street performance syndicate for the past two years, friends say.

The mascot, who has spent the last 12 years entertaining fans at the Bell Centre, reportedly first got involved with the group in 2013 after being told by numerous medical professionals that they had no idea what he was.

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Avs fans ​to Trump, NHL: Let us ignore hockey in peace

Avs fans ​to Trump, NHL: Let us ignore hockey in peace

DENVER, CO – A group of Colorado Avalanche fans has written an open letter to President Donald Trump and NHL commissioner Gary Bettman following the weekend's developments. 

The group of diehard supporters co-signed the memo asking for sports to be left out of their beloved politics after the Pittsburgh Penguins announced that they would be accepting the invitation to the White House.

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Stars remove lower bowl seats and replace with "fan pit"

Stars remove lower bowl seats and replace with "fan pit"

DALLAS, TX – Just one day ahead of their first preseason game, the Stars have announced that the 9,000 seats making up the lower bowl section at American Airlines Center have been completely removed to make way for a "fan pit".

The muddied area boasts a loose capacity of 26,000, bringing the arena's maximum attendance to a league-leading 35,000.

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New NHL jerseys to feature scratch and sniff logos

New NHL jerseys to feature scratch and sniff logos

NEW YORK, NY – In a joint press conference with jersey manufacturer Adidas, the NHL today announced that teams will be sporting logos equipped with scratch and sniff technology this season.

League commissioner Gary Bettman said fans will be able to purchase jerseys with the scratch and sniff logos for an additional price of $49.99.

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Tomas Plekanec releases much-anticipated line of turtlenecks

Tomas Plekanec releases much-anticipated line of turtlenecks

MONTREAL, QC – Canadiens forward Tomas Plekanec today unveiled a new line of turtlenecks that he says will "revolutionize hockey comfort and style".

The turtlenecks, which have been endorsed by Diane Keaton, come with several features that the forward hopes will encourage young players to embrace the brand.

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Researchers at Harvard conclude that fans of other teams are irrational idiots

Researchers at Harvard conclude that fans of other teams are irrational idiots

CAMBRIDGE, MA – An extensive study undertaken by researchers at Harvard University has been published, revealing stunning findings about fans of other hockey teams.

The research group of 30 graduate students, led by Dr. Simon Broderick, concluded that opposition fans are almost exclusively uneducated degenerates who know very little about the game of hockey.

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Devils' new ticket promotion to feature "Real Nerds" just like you

Devils' new ticket promotion to feature "Real Nerds" just like you

NEWARK, NJ – The Devils kicked off their 2017-18 season ticket promotion today with a fresh new slogan entitled "Real Nerds".

The team is hoping that the campaign can reach all corners of the hockey market in New Jersey, from those who are athletically-inclined to those at the opposite end of the spectrum.

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Complete random believes he earned his day with the Stanley Cup

Complete random believes he earned his day with the Stanley Cup

HEMINGFORD, NE – Pittsburgh Penguins assistant manager of bookkeeping, Terry Law today got what he firmly believes is his well-deserved day with the Stanley Cup.

The reclusive numbers guy spent 20 minutes sitting with the cup on a park bench this afternoon before taking it to his basement apartment to watch Breaking Bad reruns.

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Game-worn jockstrap auction less popular than anticipated

Game-worn jockstrap auction less popular than anticipated

EDMONTON, AB – After a successful game-worn jersey auction last week, the Oilers turned their focus to selling other leftover player equipment on Friday.

The team hosted an exclusive jockstrap auction for season ticket holders at Rogers Place, with approximately ten fans in attendance.

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