The Elbow staff
EDMONTON, AB – After an opening to the season that sees the Oilers sitting on top of the Pacific division with a 7-1-0 record, psychologists in the city are finding themselves out of work.
According to new research released on Saturday, psychologists in Edmonton have lost approximately 75 percent of their patients, with most practices indicating that they're just weeks away from closing and moving to Vancouver.
"Only a ten game losing streak is going to save us now," Dr. Sandy Radsich said. "And even then, I feel as if the hype is going to see most of my patients through, unfortunately."
Following Chris Pronger's departure from the team in the summer of 2006, there was a mass migration of mental health professionals to the Edmonton area.
Since then, it has been a breeding ground for the industry. So much so, that it was referred to by those in the know as the 'Great Oil Boom'.
The industry in the province has been kept afloat by Oilers fans who have endured one of the toughest decades suffered by any NHL team in modern history.
However, after Connor McDavid was drafted last summer, the number of mentally stable Edmontonians has drastically increased.
"It's really unfortunate," another psychologist said. "We've all worked too hard to have our sad, desperate patients just get better like that."
"There has always been a lull for us at the start of the season as optimism is at its highest, but we could all count on our regulars returning by early November."
The good news is that there are always greener pastures, according to Dr. Radsich.
"Four wins followed by four straight losses by the Canucks will have a lot of their fans in very unstable positions, mentally speaking."
"As they say, the sun always rises in the morning."
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