Willie Desjardins: Coaching Canucks perfect preparation for Team Canada without NHL players

Willie Desjardins: Coaching Canucks perfect preparation for Team Canada without NHL players

TORONTO, ON – Head coach of Canada's men's hockey team, Willie Desjardins, today told reporters that the experience he got coaching the Canucks will prove invaluable at next year's Olympic Games.

After three years behind the bench in Vancouver, Desjardins believes he has the perfect experience to lead a team without one single NHL player.

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Make-A-Wish kid fails to impress in practice

Make-A-Wish kid fails to impress in practice

VANCOUVER, BC – Simon Porter, a five-year-old suffering from terminal brain cancer, has failed to impress Vancouver Canucks coaching staff in his first practice session after signing a one-day Make-A-Wish contract this morning.

The right winger for the Maple Ridge Seahawks mini mites team was described as a lethargic and lazy skater with below-average puckhandling skills.

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Media insists it always loved and respected Tortorella

Media insists it always loved and respected Tortorella

VANCOUVER, BC – Journalists and editors around the league were scrambling to save face on Sunday night, insisting that they've always thought John Tortorella was a great coach. 

In all of the major cities from coast to coast, a loud beeping could be heard as every newsroom across the continent reversed on its go-to narrative about the Blue Jackets bench boss.

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Willie Desjardins says he still can't tell the Sedins apart

Willie Desjardins says he still can't tell the Sedins apart

VANCOUVER, BC – Canucks head coach Willie Desjardins admitted on Monday that he still has absolutely no idea which Sedin twin is which. 

Despite being in his third season behind the Vancouver bench, Desjardins says that he makes sure to check the names on their jerseys before talking to them.

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Oilers' early season success has psychologists in Edmonton suddenly out of work

Oilers' early season success has psychologists in Edmonton suddenly out of work

EDMONTON, AB – After an opening to the season that sees the Oilers sitting on top of the Pacific division with a 7-1-0 record, psychologists in the city are finding themselves out of work.

According to new research released on Saturday, psychologists in Edmonton have lost approximately 75 percent of their patients, with most practices indicating that they're just weeks away from closing and moving to Vancouver. 

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Canucks front office already feeling buyer's remorse from upcoming free agency

Canucks front office already feeling buyer's remorse from upcoming free agency

VANCOUVER, BC – Jim Benning and his management team are already regretting the contracts they have not yet offered to impending free agents, unnamed sources say.

According to several reports, the likes of Milan Lucic and Brian Campbell will each be offered contracts in excess of $50 million, much to the dismay of everyone involved in the Vancouver Canucks organization.

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Local Canucks fan frustrated that team can't replicate his 82-0 NHL 16 season

Local Canucks fan frustrated that team can't replicate his 82-0 NHL 16 season

VANCOUVER, BC – Local Canucks fan, Jason Wilson, says he is growing more and more impatient by the day with the way his team is playing on the ice.

The 24-year-old from downtown Vancouver has had successive 82-0 seasons with the Canucks on his NHL 16 franchise and sees no reason why the real-life version can't do the same.

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