The Elbow staff
VANCOUVER, BC – Insisting that he would do it if it helped pass the off-season quicker, local man Jamie Billings has today given in to his wife's pleas that he finally spend some meaningful time bonding with his two young sons.
Exhibiting uncharacteristic bravery, Billings entered the bedroom of his four-year-old son Noah on Tuesday morning and cautiously approached the boy who was busy drawing in crayon.
"So, do you shoot lefty or righty?" he was overheard asking, hoping to break the ice. "Can you even skate yet?"
The child reportedly shrugged his shoulders upon hearing his father's voice for the first time and continued drawing.
"What's your favourite shot? Wrister or slapper?"
The awkward exchange lasted for approximately two minutes, with the 35-year-old asking more questions, including requesting that the child reveal his name, before admitting defeat and retreating.
"I gave it a really good shot. I hope Trish is proud of me," he said to the assembled press outside his house following the ordeal. "I mean, what more can you ask for?"
At press time, Billings had reportedly given up talking to his "dull" sons and decided that this was the year he'd finally get into baseball.