Blackhawks begin tryouts for scrawny, bland male ice crew members

Blackhawks begin tryouts for scrawny, bland male ice crew members

CHICAGO, IL – Looking to revamp their ice crew with some fresh blood, the Blackhawks began tryouts for male personnel today.

On-ice activities tested skating skills and the ability to shovel snow, with particular focus centring on the attractiveness of the applicants.

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Senators emerge as valiant runners-up behind Blackhawks to sign star college player

Senators emerge as valiant runners-up behind Blackhawks to sign star college player

OTTAWA, ON – Senators GM Pierre Dorion today announced that he is confident college star Will Butcher will give his team a passing thought before inevitably agreeing to the Blackhawks' offer this summer.

After meeting with the University of Denver forward today, Dorion told reporters that his team's impressive playoff run this year helped put the Sens in an enviable position.

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Hockey fan bored enough to try talking to his kids​

Hockey fan bored enough to try talking to his kids​

VANCOUVER, BC – Insisting that he would do it if it helped pass the off-season quicker, local man Jamie Billings has today given in to his wife's pleas that he finally spend some meaningful time bonding with his two young sons.

Exhibiting uncharacteristic bravery, Billings entered the bedroom of his four-year-old son Noah on Tuesday morning and cautiously approached the boy who was busy drawing in crayon.

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Harvey the Hound put down after being hit by car

Harvey the Hound put down after being hit by car

CALGARY, AB – Beloved mascot of the Calgary Flames, Harvey the Hound, was put down overnight after being hit by a car on a busy city road.

Emergency personnel were called to the scene around 11:40pm on Thursday, where the popular mascot was found lying motionless on the asphalt with serious injuries. Shortly after being airlifted to a veterinary clinic, he was administered a fatal dose of pentobarbital and pronounced dead.

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