The Elbow staff
NASHVILLE, TN – According to authorities, earplugs in the Nashville metropolitan area are at critical levels, after locals stormed stores in preparation for the upcoming contest to crown the Predators' newest national anthem singer.
The tryouts will be held at the Bridgestone Arena in front of a live TV audience and panel of judges. It will also be shown on a large screen outside of the arena, with team officials saying that people within a one mile radius of the area will be able to hear the singers.
Fans will be invited to call in and vote off contestants in the three-week long contest, with the eventual winner crowned at the end of August.
"When news of the contest was advertised, we noticed a huge jump in the sales of earplugs across the city," police spokesman Gregory Paige said on Friday. "Walking around the downtown core, we've noticed the majority of people are wearing them, and for good reason."
"I mean, did you hear any of the anthems in the playoffs?"
All of the singers who performed before the playoff games applied to be in the contest, but failed to make the cut.
Adjudicators in pre-judging explained that each one displayed an "inherent disregard for the laws of singing and decency."