The Elbow staff
PITTSBURGH, PA – Capitals blueliner Brooks Orpik has been spotted in a dumpster not far from the PPG Paints Arena on the morning of his team's game five contest against the Penguins.
The lifeless, rain-soaked cardboard cutout, who has played in all but three games for his team this season, was reportedly found by a waste management employee on Friday.
A Washington spokesman today confirmed that he would be scratched for the next game.
"Unfortunately, Brooks will miss tonight's game against the Penguins due to being waterlogged. We have a crew on their way back to Pittsburgh to collect him," he said.
"Once he's been picked up, he will be aired out and dried in a facility here in D.C."
The spokesman said the team still believes that he plays an important role in the team and they will do whatever they can to insert him in the lineup as soon as possible.
At this point, it is not known who threw him in the dumpster, but eyewitnesses in the area say they saw coach Barry Trotz get out of a limousine carrying a large black garbage bag in the shape of a fully grown man around 11pm on Wednesday evening.