DALLAS, TX – Just one day ahead of their first preseason game, the Stars have announced that the 9,000 seats making up the lower bowl section at American Airlines Center have been completely removed to make way for a "fan pit".
The muddied area boasts a loose capacity of 26,000, bringing the arena's maximum attendance to a league-leading 35,000.
Read MoreDALLAS, TX – After officially signing Ben Bishop to a six-year, $29.5 million contract on Friday, Stars GM Jim Nill announced that he has ramped up the search for a fourth-string goaltender who can back up the backup's backup next season.
Netminders Kari Lehtonen and Antti Niemi struggled this season with the stress of not having enough insurance behind them. Nill said his number one goal this summer is shoring up the crease.
Read MoreDALLAS, TX – With the NHL trade deadline under a week away, a number of teams aiming to make the playoffs are clamouring to acquire Patrick Eaves' beard from the Stars.
Toronto and Florida are two such teams with young, high-end talent completely unqualified to grow any post-season facial hair.
Read MoreNHL is our game, delicious pasta is our name.
The best satirical hockey website in the world. Maybe the only one.
We specialize in writing news specific to the NHL and touch on hockey from around the world, but with a twist. Rather than hockey news you'll see in any other medium, it is all satirical. And we think we're the only ones doing it.
All of the content featured on this website is satirical, and all quotes fictional. It is meant to give desperately sad hockey fans something to be happy about during what can be a cold and depressingly long season. If you have any queries or concerns, please feel free to contact us at newselbow@gmail.com.
